WAUKESHA, WI — Blizzard Lighting announced that Molly Goodearle has joined its team as a PR and media specialist, or, in Blizzard-speak, “Minister of Propaganda.” She previously supported Blizzard’s social media marketing efforts in her role as digital strategist for GoGeddit, a boutique marketing firm based in Milwaukee.
More details from Blizzard (www.blizzardlighting.com):
We combed our hair, brushed our teeth, and took some dope “fish gape” selfies. We fought off waves of rejection and kept on swiping right. Now, we finally hit pay dirt. Blizzard Lighting is thrilled to welcome our newest team member, Molly Goodearle. As Minister of Propaganda, Goodearle has no small task: winning hearts and minds. This includes community re-education through traditional and new media outlets, expansion of Blizzard’s strategic geopolitical sphere of influence, and ensuring ongoing compliance in Blizzard’s internal and external cultural efforts.
Goodearle has previous experience with Blizzard, which, somehow, some way, didn’t scare her off. She previously directed Blizzard’s social media marketing as a Digital Strategist for GoGeddit, a boutique marketing firm headquartered in Milwaukee, Wis. Molly’s previous experience with Blizzard, and her shapeshifting ability to think and sound exactly like an adolescent male, made her an unnaturally natural fit for our team.
When reached at his office for comment on the new hire, Blizzard Chairman of the Bored, Will Komassa, twiddled his fingers menacingly and noted cryptically that, “everything was proceeding according to plan.” Creepy.
Eager to show off her job-specific skills, Goodearle meticulously crafted a convincing lie about her reasons for accepting the position. “While most seek a wholesome company full of pleasant interactions, business casual attire, and monthly team building events, I sought quite the opposite and found it at Blizzard Lighting. This ridiculous company full of quirky personalities, jaw dropping shenanigans, extreme innovation, and a colossal amount of sausage has become my home. I look forward to creating the world’s most inexplicable marketing at Blizzard to do my part in brainwashing the masses.”
While her choice of employers is highly questionable, her choices outside work are beyond reproach. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, photography, and spending time with her family and her offensively mature and normal husband, Tim.
